Try Harder

Trying as hard as I might
I can't get this limerick right.
The rhyming is forced
but the punchline's the worst.
If it weren't for that this rhyme would be tight.

God's Love

God said "Don't eat fruit from the tree
of knowledge of G and of E".
But Eve was persuaded
by Serpent and ate it,
not knowing how mad God would be.

Then Eve, having thus disobeyed
The Lord, she led Adam astray.
For defying His one wish
God vowed he would punish
all humans 'til the end of days.

Malpractice

Bob's vasectomy? - a troubling endeavor
(one he shall not repeat - not ever!).
For, against his preference,
his poor old vas deferens
was less than skillfully severed.

Bad Comma

The Limericist laid down his weary head,
His punctuation challenges myriad:
Instead of an ',
He'd mistakenly crossed a "V",
Then dotted all his "T"'s with a .

How it's Done

The number of beats in each line
is critical. So is the rhyme.
The content and such
don't matter so much
as long as it's funny.

Untitled

In a feat of loopy design
I composed the previous line
then, continuing, wrote
the following: "
I composed the previous line [...]"

Mea Culpa

More often than not I’m not here
writing limericks – I’d rather steer clear.
It’s my scant contribution,
my infrequent execution,
makes me think that I’ll not persevere.