Vibraphone

Her mobile phone's ringer'd gone dumb.
Unnoticed, 'twould vibrate and hum.
So she put it in front
alongside her cunt.
Now whenever she's called, she will come.

Another Hoover Maneuver

There once was a gal from Vancouver
who sucked out her twat with a Hoover
then pushed it back in
with a bottle of gin
left o'er from a previous maneuver.

Hoover

There once was a gal from Vancouver
who sucked out her twat with a Hoover,
for years of abuse
had so damaged her cooze
that anything less failed to move her.